voidtreckernet | video | merriment 15

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video | merriment 15

( Jingyi anchored, and thus he's still tired. Very tired. Flopping between areas and people to nap with kind of tired. It hasn't resolved yet, and he hates that, but he can't let him not get around to important questions.

Which is why he's on camera as crossed legs only, laying down on the bench with the ICP swiveled his direction. It's almost like he's shy... but no, he's not, he's just exhausted. )

Everything was a mess and all of us there had strange illusion things to deal with before things went really bad, but I have a question. About my friend.

( A pause. He does, in fact, literally mean this about a friend. )

Say he was in a situation where... certain boundaries were willingly crossed, but what it meant in the illusion was different from what it means outside of the illusion. And explaining what that means and how it's different is kind of important to the one they were crossed with.

( For both sides, but he's more worried about his friend than he is the other guy, for various biased reasons he has no regrets over. )

How do you handle when people here do casual things with 'dating,' but I'm from—he's from—a place where you definitely don't?

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[ Inigo looks right back up to Jingyi when the other suddenly stands - surprisingly, considering he knows it can't be easy for Jingyi right now, with how utterly tired the other has seemed ever since they returned from the mission - and is quiet for a moment.

Mostly since he's surprised, since his jaw is slightly hanging open.

Then he quickly nods, seeming kind of flustered. (Still?) ]

O-Of course! [ He's already scooting over as he says it, making room for Jingyi. Perhaps a little bit more room than necessary, as if he's overcompensating.

Inigo's gaze was already nervous, with something sad in it too, but now it's apologetic as well. ]

.. sorry, did I say too much?

( Jingyi doesn't seem to notice, but he does use the extra space for his tail to curl up and settle across his own lap, letting his hands rest on top of it after he's settled. Inigo has so much fluster to spare, the poor guy. Isn't that tiring?

(Jingyi thinks everything is tiring about now.) )

Huh? No, why are you apologising?

( There would be reasons, for other things in this madcap adventure that still feels like a fever dream, but he waves one hand with all the strength of literally just flopping his hand around, settling it back on his tail after with a long sigh of his own. )

I'm trying to understand. Since you asked me to be gentle.

( Why is that the correlation. Why is this the case. )

So... you're worried he doesn't like guys, since the important person in his heart was a lady. You're also worried he loves her too much to have room for anyone else.

( With a touch of dry humour, he asks: )

You sure you don't think he's a Lan?

[ Thankfully Inigo sees that last part of what it is, even under the current circumstances. Or rather, under Inigo's current flustered circumstances. It's the tone that does it, making a faint smile appear on Inigo's face, even if the rest of his expression still seems like the facial expression version of It's Complicated. ]

I don't think people adhere by those kinds of strict dating rules where he's from. [ Inigo lightly jokes in return.

He's trying. Especially since he realises Jingyi is being so kind to him here. Hearing him out even though the other is tired, trying to be gentle with Inigo after he asked for it. It means he has to do his own part too. ]

But.. yeah. Even aside from that specific girl.. I don't know how he feels about the idea of having something like that with a guy in general. He already found it odd the first time I asked him for a hug. [ Like it's weird for two guys to hug each other! Please! It sure isn't in Inigo's little mental world. ] So it doesn't seem very likely that he's ever thought of getting together with a guy.

( Jingyi doesn't even bother contradicting that dating has nothing to do with it: it's courtship. Engagement. Marriage! Which, whatever, it's at least blessedly not a problem he's having, despite the fact Inigo definitely had thought it was. Or something close enough.

He listens, rolling the words around in his head, slightly squinting as he tries to process. There are also culture divides, and things he might say if he were better rested, but as he's not, and as he's tiring again off the whole odd dance of being rejected for a love he didn't have, which was still cute, but a bit misguided: he keeps it simple. )

Do you want me just listening, right now? No thoughts on what to do? Or advice, stuff like that.

( What does be gentle consist of for Inigo? He also rubs his face with one hand, then leans forward, planting his elbow beyond his tail and on his knee, cradling his cheek so he can lazily look sideways at his friend. )

You gonna say who it is?

I don't know. [ He honestly admits. Mostly since he doesn't think there is any advice to be given here. It's a situation he's thought about so much - if there was some way to solve it, surely he would have come across it by now, rather than just stressing himself out over the same thing over and over.

Inigo pauses, glancing over at Jingyi, and then adds: ] Just lean against me if you need it.

[ Since he's tired! It's ok, bro, Inigo's got you. Especially since they're sitting side by side now, it just seems like a waste to force Jingyi to keep sitting up when he's just a tired blob. ]

But I don't really feel like there's a solution to this. Other than just owning up to it, but.. that would just ruin our friendship. [ And that's the last thing Inigo wants. He can't handle that on top of all the other misery this train throws into his lap. He sucks in a breath, and then, as if sighing the name out: ] Since it's Tidus.

[ And he's not sure if Jingyi noticed, since he's still relatively new, but Inigo thinks a lot of people on the train would know how inseperatable the two of them tend to be. ]

( Jingyi grunts in place of another acknowledgement of the 'lean on me', because he's still watching Inigo, and it's easiest to not move at all with his elbow planted like this. He tries to think what he would do, on either side of the same situation. He's not sure, other than definitely tell whoever it is. Let things bleed freely to figure out what kind of healing's needed, if any.

Harder imagining being the one confessed to, if only because until this last month, he's been surrounded by his clan most of his life. If it was from another branch, he... would have complicated thoughts, because of how they love, but he likes to think that past an initial surprise, he'd sort through what it might mean, or what it won't.

He's way too tired to figure out the romantic lives he doesn't have. He also thinks... )

Tidus? He seems like a good guy... maybe not into adoption, but whatever.

( From passing conversations and awareness he's also one of the long term abductees. Though the second comment is a hazily recalled text conversation in illusion, and sounds about as random as it is. Jingyi makes himself sit up, back to propping his hands on his tail when he sways a bit. )

I could... ask him, not about you, but about the guys thing. You did just kind of call me a cut sleeve... to the whole train.

( A huff, not amused or unamused. Just noting that anyone who figured out Inigo's panic when Jingyi was oblivious had possibly drawn their own conclusions. )

I guess to me it's... is he that much of a jerk he wouldn't be your friend after, if he didn't end up feeling the same way? ... If you... you haven't pressed him up against anything to kiss him yet, it's not like you suddenly will just 'cause you open up to him. He's your friend, your closest one.

( He squints, because he thinks that's the implication? He's rambling by now, stream of consciousness style. )

He knows you. Even if it was awkward for a moment... you both still care, right? And in better cases... in those cases, you open his eyes to something he didn't realise he could consider in the first place.

( This feels like a pre game to talking with Dennis, only from the opposite side of who isn't saying what. He's also listing to the other side, and his voice has been getting progressively more gravelly with tired. )

Why do you believe so strongly... you're gonna lose him entirely?

[ .. 'maybe not into adoption'? What the heck did Tidus and Jingyi even talk about. Does Inigo want to know?

Well, it's probably not the best idea to ask that right now - not while the other is tired and probably already has enough trouble just keeping his mind on one thing at a times. This isn't the sort of conversation he can just derail like that. Even though Inigo honestly isn't sure what to even say in the face of all of that, the waterfall of opinions and ideas coming from the other.

Though one thing does become rapidly clear from some things he says. Jingyi definitely doesn't have the full image. Because Inigo hasn't offered up said full image yet. He didn't think he'd have to, and he wasn't planning on doing so, since it's kind of embarrassing.. But a lot of the advice doesn't really apply when the other doesn't know about it.

So Inigo sucks in a deep breath, prepared to feel like the dumbest guy in the world when he says: ]

We already have sex.

[ Yes. Even though Inigo is worried about confessing his feelings-- look, it's complicated! This is why he was trying to be vague!

(So, yes, actually, people have been pressed up against stuff to be kissed.) ]

So the situation is a little less simple than that. [ Than just being best friends, one of whom happens to have a crush. ]

Edited 2021-07-30 13:54 (UTC)

( Inigo finally startles Jingyi enough that his tired self can't response reasonably quickly to catch him when he almost pitches forward off the bed in surprise. There's a number of broken connections in his head, because that's have, not had, because he also needs to shut down incoherent, tired imaginings, because there is a divide here where he cannot understand why that isn't then part of them being together, because isn't that kind of intimacy with one dedicated party an emotional connection too?

To catch himself with his thoughts a nest of flailing confusion, he thrusts out his hand at the floor. Instead of fully pitching off the bed to his hands and knees, which wouldn't have hurt and might even have temporarily helped him wake up, he raw focus tosses wind at that angle, enough to catch himself, give him some kickback from the summoning, and leave his actual bunk with pushed back sheets and blanket and the whole cabin in a brief, surprising whirlwind that fades within seconds.

There's a full tired whine in Jingyi's voice when he's looking with obvious confused distress to Inigo, hair still fluttering in the dissipating gust of wind. He wants to understand, but he's definitely not getting it, and he's not sure if that's just being tired or not. )

Iniigooo, explaaain?

[ Oh no, oh no, oh no, what is happening.

It's not even that Inigo hasn't seen people use wind magic before. One of his friends back home could use it! But right now? Here? In the middle of this conversation? Inigo hardly even notices the fact that the other almost fell down, because he's way too busy being confused and startled about what just happened - even as his own shorter hair also stops turning this and that way in the sudden strong wind.

He would have been left speechless at that question in general - how does one explain that, especially to someone with Jingyi's ideas about love - but this sure doesn't help. There's a good few moments that consist of nothing but awkward silence as they stare at each other.

But then Inigo finally seems to find his words again. ]

I-I don't know?! [ Perhaps sounding a bit panicked, considering he's still confused about what just happened.. This is too much for his peanut sized brain. ]

He just.. He just wanted to do that with someone, and I-- I thought that since I liked him, I might as well, since then I could.. pretend..

[ Inigo can feel his face getting hotter and hotter, especially when he realises how desperate that sounds. He quickly shakes his head. ]

I know it's dumb, alright..!

( Would you say he was... blown away--

Which, yes, well, what the actual what? It's not that sex as a need or a curiosity is beyond Lan Jingyi, it's not. He's no saint, he's read things, he has hands, life is great, we all get on well doing whatever it is we do. He wouldn't even be surprised if people did this in other clans, kind of a one off thing with someone? Or something? Most the world is not Lan, and he's not going to tell people to be Lan restrained, that's dumb.

But he's also from a world with brothels, and his mind blanks out for a moment because that seems like the... worst... way... of getting laid. "I'm curious, who wants to sleep with me! Oh yes my best friend here that's totally going to keep us platonic." He's probably missing context, he's only on a minor adrenaline high from having used wind to stop himself from falling, and: no, he doesn't get it.

But at least Inigo knows that he kind of shot an arrow into his own knee over this, too, so that's... something? )

I, uh, okay. But he said yes. Do people just get that kind of intimate with their best friends around here?! Or in both your worlds?

( So helplessly confused looking here, his three world views are taking a heck of a thrashing. )

Has he been trying to do this with a lot of people? Does he casually go around asking for sex? Is it just with you? I swear this sounds just like the stupid dating everyone talks about, only neither one of you've actually said the words!

( None of this sounds like an accusation when he's saying it, his streak of absolute confusion is strong here. )

[ There's definitely some context missing - on account of Inigo being very much worked up by now. It makes it hard to give the full full view of the situation. This is pretty much as close as he can get, even though he seems to be wilting more and more under every single question coming from Jingyi. Look, there's a reason why he never talks to people about this! .. multiple reasons, in fact, and they're all coming back to haunt him in this very specific instant. ]

No, it's not-- it's not like that! [ It's not that sleeping with your best friend is a regular thing back home for either of them - if not just because Inigo's best friend is also his cousin. It's not that Tidus has done this with more people than him.. he thinks?! And no, they aren't dating, if only they were!!

Inigo rubs his face helplessly. ]

I think he just asked me specifically b-because he trusts me. To not.. get strange about it.

( It's very, very hard to not go "it's all strange anyway" because it is, to him, and he's not going to get over that in five minutes. Maybe five weeks? Who knows, he can work on it. In the end, it's not anything he's responsible for, and Inigo's answers, or whatever of them's communicating, is...

One moment, brain catching up with itself. Braining, braining... and Jingyi sighs.

What it does say to him is yes, there's a lot of trust. But also many more tangled emotions, and yet, that's... ultimately Inigo and Tidus's business. On that, he's emphatically clear. )

You think, but you don't know, 'cause you didn't ask.

( He rubs his forehead, and then flops over, sort of, nudging Inigo's shoulder with his. He's giving up on wrapping his head around it. He'll just accept it, because it is what's going on, and tiredly get out the rest of what he thinks matters. )

Right, right, I know, there's not anything I can do—that's up to you and him. I hope you feel up to talking to him sooner and not later, but... until then, you can talk with me, you know? I'm better at secrets than people assume, and if you tell me at the start you need me just to listen, I even shut up.

( He turns one hand palm up, like he's offering that intel in his tired, matter of fact way, aware that people think he's a chatterbox. He can be, but he can live fine in silence, too, especially when a friend needs it. Besides, Inigo panicked over here thinking Jingyi was talking about himself, then them, where-as the names of who he had been talking about remain off-ICP. )

I'm your friend, Inigo. I want you to be happy. When you can't be, I'll listen. Who knows, maybe talking about it long enough means you'll figure something out eventually. Sizhui does better when he can talk it out, at least. Even if it doesn't solve everything, at least you don't have to store your misery inside all alone.

( That's what friends are for, in his opinion. Making sure you're not alone in your worst moments, even when they can't resolve the cause of that moment for you. There's also a slew of pretty not-hilarious parallels with this and what his younger, but also oldest, but also younger and also Inigo's age at present best-friend from a realm adjacent to the one Jingyi knows is handling, on a less, er, intimate. Level. )

Let me help share this burden. It won't break my back.

Ah..

[ It's the only sound that leaves Inigo after hearing all of that. He's just.. staring, growing quiet again for a moment. It's not that Jingyi said anything bad - no, it's the exact opposite. The other is saying so many good things here that Inigo truly doesn't know how to deal with it. He can only feel his cheeks growing hotter and hotter with all the kindness that's being thrown his way here.

How is he ever supposed to repay something like that? ]

.. thank you. So much. [ He says, his voice more quiet. His tone more touched.

The reason for the latter becomes readily apparent when he lifts his head, tears in his eyes. ]

It's-- It's really nice of you to offer that. Especially since I know this problem is just really dumb. And not even of interest to anyone other than me. [ Who else cares about Inigo's carwreck of a love life, really. ] You're such a good friend, and I'm..

[ He reaches up to rub as his eyes with his hand. ]

I'm so sorry for making things so awkward.

[ By turning Jingyi down, he means.

But ironically enough, the apology still fits within the actual situation of him having made things awkward with his wrong assumption. ]

( Oh good, Jingyi will finally assume something beneficial--oh, no, well, Jingyi thinks that apology is for the sudden turn into Inigo's Trainwreck Love Life, and the crying, which has him blinking slightly faster than he has been, in confusion that passes out of his head not long after. )

'S'fine.

( He sighs, shifting his arm so the shoulder that'd been resting against Inigo's turns into an arm that pats the back of his shoulder, pat pat, then just stays pressed there. He's feeling too heavy to be aware and awake again, but he concentrates on breathing through it. Exhaustion at some point settles down beneath his skin, with its own weight. )

Think you've needed t'say this for a long time.

( Be awkward, be emotional, be whatever you need to be. He supports that, as long as it's not "what you need to be is cruel," because then he does not support that at all. )

But, 'gogo...

( He is really, truly struggling to keep his eyes open now that the adrenaline of his wind blast has fled his system, dropping him down even lower than earlier. )

'M gonna fall 'sleep 'gain.

( Murmured and softened, more syrupy sweet in cadence and tone as sleep drags at his senses. Not quite a way to translate a dialect shift, but it's something, at least. )

[ At least Inigo is in a soft and emotional enough mood that he doesn't opt for a quip - something along the lines of 'yes, I can hear that' - and instead just smiles at the other's sleepiness.

Right. He's already taken up too much of Jingyi's time, especially when the other is still trying to recover from the mission. Inigo lets out a faint breath, and then something slowly occurs to him - a way to potentially start paying the other back for his kindness.

Not that he's sure this is something the other needs, but.. well, it's helped other people before, so Inigo figures the least he can do is offer. ]

Sure. Do you need a nap buddy?

( If he were less tired, there's probably a lot more coherency on his side that all this conversing could have had, particularly by now. Instead he makes a lazy sound, a scoff that never makes it past his lips. Gee, he thinks to himself. Good thing I'm not really into you, you'd be the most bothersome thing in the world.

Feeling like it's too much effort to open his eyes, he just asks: )

Dragon?

( Secret: nap buddy human Lan Jingyi sleeps like the dead.

Right on his back, arms crossed over his chest, not moving. Dragon, he's an all around tiny, snuggly mess, though as his normal size, the sheer bulk of himself means he usually settles down for one position too. )

Won't notice 'n you leave.

( No danger to it, so he's unlikely to stir. Inigo doesn't need to stay. )

Whatever's most comfortable to you. [ Inigo just answers.

Mostly since he has no idea how Jingyi sleeps when he's a human.. That would be severely disappointing, please, he didn't sign up to be nap buddies with what amounts to little more than a corpse! What won't people think!

Instead he's assuming it's just more comfortable for the other to sleep as a dragon rather than a person - and in that case, Inigo will gladly comply. One of his friends sleeps with his wyvern, so it's not like sleeping with a dragon buddy is so weird to him. ]

And.. really, I don't even mind staying for a while. It's not a bother at all.

( At this rate, there is nothing people won't think, so give them more, always more. Or give the bunk across from them a look of such apparent disgust that even tired, Jingyi has to open his eyes again and try to straighten up to communicate wordlessly the horrors of these bunks and their terribleness.

There's zero comfort sharing that tiny space with two adult-enough bodies. Not that either of them are bulky, but those things are narrow, so: )

There's no space.

( Implying: dragon it is. He can't say it's the feel of the bunks that bothers him, he sleeps on planked wood with a thin pad over it, but the narrowness. Still, that's decided, apparently, and he shoves away (gently, he's trying to steady himself) and goes for fumbling to pulling his hoodie off so he can shift and wiggle out of substantially less clothing than last time. Only, well. He only had a hoodie on, so apologies, Inigo, avert thine gaze for thine own saketh, young Master Knight. )

[ Oh no.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Sweet Naga, he's learned his lesson, which means that Inigo is instantly looking away the moment he spots even as much as just the first sign of Jingyi being about to pull off that hoodie. His face even starts to go red, so he quickly covers his face with his hands before he makes things weird.

(Or even weirder than they already were, anyway.) ]

I-Is it done yet?

[ Please save this shame baby, Jingyi. ]

( Shame baby has learned, and shameless less-baby is simply glad he doesn't have another freakout on hand because by now Inigo is wise enough to exactly what happens when Jingyi shifts. At this point, Inigo probably won't even believe Jingyi has modesty, though he does, if it's not related to the necessities of nudity.

Which also means he shimmies out of boxers to turn, silvered with light, into a very familiar dragon, thumping down on the floor. He hooks his tail through said boxers and pauses before sinking his teeth into his hoodie: )

All dragon.

( Then drags his clothing toward his bed, leaping up and stashing them at the foot of said bunk. )

[ "So, Inigo, what did you go to Jingyi's room for?"

"Oh, you know, just to turn him down and then he got naked in front of me."

This is his life now, apparently, because that imagined conversation sure is going through his head as he's sitting here, still with his hands tightly pressed to his face. Heck, even when the other gives him the clear sign, Inigo still removes his hands from his face with some great hesitation. As if the other might be pranking him, and Inigo will suddenly catch a sight of Jingyi's full moon butt.

But no, it seems like he truly is in the clear. Inigo lets out a sigh that has more relief in it than absolutely necessary, before starting to kick out his own shoes. He's not a total barbarian, he's not going to defile Jingyi's bunk with his shoes! ]

.. you know, you do look super cute and cuddly in this form.

( More like a partial eclipse, that tail does have a place right there, right? Right. Totally. Thankfully nothing Inigo needs to be worried about, since once he's back to using his eyes there is Jingyi still collecting and stashing the sleeves of his hoodie so it sits in a mostly folded pile there at the foot.

His ears flick at the sigh, one swiveling to track Inigo in particular while he turns and walks up the length of the bed toward the pillow. Inadequate pillow! He wants a proper one! He can... worry about ordering that sometime, maybe.

The cute and cuddly comment earns a slow turn of his head, staring at Inigo with very cute, very narrowed eyes. )

Appearances, ( he says, dryly, ) can be deceiving.

( Then, pointedly, uses his talons to primly pick up one corner of the blanket and slowly walk it back, deadass staring at Inigo. Here, friend. Trust the cute and cuddly one you ran over here to turn down and are now sleeping (platonically) with. There is... so much... ease in seeing how Inigo gets himself into trouble.

Poor guy. He's so glad his own (nonexistent) romantic life is cut and dry in comparison to everyone's he knows who aren't already married. )

Please, Nah hasn't eaten me while I was sleeping yet, and she was bigger than you are in this form. I'll take my chances.

[ Not to mention that Nah actually did... threaten to eat him before... so if he can somehow soundly sleep near that, then surely he's not going to mind having a little cuddly dragon buddy here. Please. J-Just some platonic friend cuddling here, that's all that's going on, pals.

But with the blanket drawn back, Inigo moves to actually lie down on the bunk, trying to make himself comfortable. Then he pats his chest. ]

You know, you can just put your head here if you think that'd be more comfortable.

[ No homo here, bro.

Only bromo. ]

( Smol dragon that he is, he also looks visibly disgusted. )

Like I'd be a cannibal.

( Meanwhile as Inigo sets about making himself comfortable, Jingyi sits off to the side. It's only when it looks like Inigo has settled, and is patting his chest with all his pec pillow offers (no, but heartbeats are nice, generally speaking), Jingyi simply walks across said chest, curling himself back so that his midsection, head, and tail are all technically resting across some part of Inigo's torso. Draped instead of curling up just on his chest for a better spread of his weight. )

Slept in piles when younger. Now, when traveling.

( Saves on having to set up camps depending on where they're headed, and for what, and if they're on elder escort duties. )

[ Inigo wasn't too sure if Jingyi would agree to the whole chest pillow thing, but.. now he actually has the dragon on his chest like this, it feels rather comfortable. Partially since the other has properly spread himself out, so he doesn't have to deal with all the weight in one spot, but also since it's just comforting to have something against him like that. Something warm, something living.

That feeling, coupled with Jingyi's whole piles remark, makes the corners of Inigo's lips tug up slightly as he tries to tug the blanket somewhat over them both. ]

.. think you can teach Tidus the wonders of pile sleeping for my sake?

[ He sounds like he's joking.

(U-Unless!) ]

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jingyeets - 2021-08-03 22:16 (UTC) - Expand

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flatteries - 2021-08-04 21:56 (UTC) - Expand

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video | merriment 15

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cw: mentions of sex, nothing graphic, just very vaguely nsfw!!!

likely just consider that to apply in vague and going forward

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