voidtreckernet | [Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

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[Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

[She waves gently as the feed comes on. Behind her there is a large sheet, divided into three categories: 'Heard of', 'Not heard of', and 'Variance'.]

[Her name and Della's are written, in perfect letters, in the first column.]

So I was reading, earlier in the month and had a conversation with Della. Interestingly, despite our different universal backgrounds, we had both heard the trope 'The Butler Did It' - though the books on the train have, thus far, not revealed why this trope is a thing in either of our universes.

As a result, I am curious: in how many of your universes in this something known as well, and are there any variants? For those unaware, the trope refers to fictive mysteries, specifically, wherein the murder taking place in a manor house is presupposed to have been committed by the butler, or head servant.

[Because it wouldn't be Guri if she didn't break it down.]

Oh, and I am unsure what to vote for in terms of room. Perhaps something for the arts? Would that not benefit everyone most?

[Later, she adds a text updated:]

My official vote is for 'pool'.

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[She smiled, brightly, having rather hoped to be asked that.]

Oh, well, I began by reviewing what materials were on hand, which led me to conclude that it should be personal, you know? In the end I went with colors I...just thought you would like?

[She may even look a bit embarrassed by that, actually reddening a little] I'm still figuring all that out. But I wanted to make you smile.

After that I looked at what I had on-hand and thought...aha, her name will fit, and that was that, really. Or so I thought, because then I had one cupcake with nothing and that was actually somewhat annoying.

So I added the heart.

[The last said like that part was the most natural, non-problematic part of the entire operation.]

[ THAT'S THE EXACT PROBLEMATIC PART.

But okay, breathe, Alice. Don't start with the negative in front of someone who's doing this for the first time! Say something positive first. Don't you want Guri to feel glad over having made these? ]

The colours are nice. I.. did not quite realise you picked it with me in mind, but you did a good job. [ See, positivity. Encouragement. She can do it. ] I like how they look, and the name is a nice touch.

[ ... ]

It's just.. ah.. Perhaps.. the usage of symbols needs to have a teensy bit more thought put behind it. This is the sort of thing other people could easily.. misunderstand.

[Nor is she going to make it terribly easy, as she cocks her head.]

How so? I mean, other than the flagrant anatomical inaccuracies, but I think those are traditional.

[ Anatomical accuracy. Of course that's what Guri is most concerned with here. Alice is resisting the urge to rub her temples in an attempt to get rid of these awkward feelings when she has to discuss such things. ]

.. I assume no one has made you aware of the implications behind such a symbol, anatomy aside.

[She thought about it, for a moment, then frowned.]

...Have I caused offense? I didn't mean to, but...

No, no. [ She moves her hands up, waving them a little, as if to wave the idea straight out of Guri's head. That's the last thing she'd want the other to think here, no matter how awkward this whole thing is for her to explain.

Surely someone who's better with the whole romance thing ought to explain this to Guri. Not Alice. But alas, here she's the one present. ]

It's just that when you give something to someone with that sort of heart on it, the general implication is that you experience romantic feelings for them.

[ Look.

Don't ask her why. This is so far outside of Alice's field of expertise that it's not even funny. ]

Oh. Oh.

[She's not at all sure how to respond to that. A number of prompts and instincts collide, and it's rare, very rare, to see her at a complete loss for words.]

[Finally:]

Oh, I'm sorry - I thought the idea of it was expressing care and affection, symbolically, I didn't...I mean, I do care and I do feel considerable affection towards you, it's just...

[She clams up again for a long, awkward moment; reddening quite a bit more than before.]

I wasn't trying to...I mean, I'm a...

[She leaves the 'I'm a machine' unsaid, barreling on. Awkwardly. She stops, an exasperated look on her face. She finally brushes past the presumption that that fact alone would disqualify her in organic books.]

This is all very hard to express. I had no intentions other than saying I cared and you are Alice and thus special for reasons I cannot entirely put into words and I didn't mean to upset you and I can see how you would presume otherwise since you are aesthetically pleasing and wonderful company so this must happen a lot so that should have been an obvious connotation I would foresee and I should just...go, shouldn't I?

[You have flustered the murderbot. Achievement unlocked. She starts to stand, her mind very full with thoughts on the nature of feelings and how in the verse humans ever figure out where the borderland is between one kind and another.]

[ There's so much going on here. But before Alice allows herself to think too hard about certain things the other is saying here, she knows she first has to speak up - if not just because Guri looks like she's about to dash right out of the room and leave Alice here awkwardly alone with the cupcakes. ]

Guri. [ There's almost something pleading in her tone. ] Do sit down again.

[ Please. Come on. ]

I know you did not have specific intentions with it. [ Not of THAT sort, at least, although all the 'special' talk sure is.. something. Something to process at a moment that is not right this very instant. ] So please don't fuss so much. I merely said it because I didn't want you to repeat this in the future and have someone misunderstand your intentions.

[ Especially if it's a terrible lecherous man. Can't trust those men!! ]

[She very slowly sits back down, folding her hands nervously, and saying nothing. She nods, a bit, but for the moment that's all.]

[Ironically, she'd agree primarily with the last sentiment, albeit from possibly an entirely different direction.]

...

Come on, don't feel so bad about it.

[ Now you're just making her feel bad and awkward for pointing it out in the first place, Guri! Gah, maybe she should just have said nothing. But what if Guri would make cupcakes for someone else and they got the wrong idea? Then it'd be entirely on Alice for not warning her, and..

This is exactly why she hates being social. It's so complicated. Is there still time to jump off this train and become a cave hermit? ]

You just were not aware. Those sorts of things can happen.

[She nods.]

I suppose so. I hope you weren't bothered by the idea.

Well, it helps that I know you fairly well, so I already had an inkling that you weren't quite aware of its implications.. [ Though she still did freak out at the mere sight of it.

But ssh, it's ok. Guri doesn't have to know, especially when the very thought of offending Alice is already freaking her out so much, right? The last thing Alice wants to do is make it worse. ]

But it is really alright, Guri. I was.. ah, well, I was hoping that we were close enough to not mind such slight things.

Edited 2021-06-28 19:37 (UTC)

[She nods.]

We are, but...such things can go badly wrong quickly, especially if the receiving party is...rejecting towards that sentiment, intent notwithstanding.

[It's not just the thought of upsetting that's the problem, really - it's all the potential consequences, and the reminder of the many ways in which she feels certain she'll always be apart from humanity.]

Feelings are difficult.

[ She's quiet for a moment, wanting to give a cautious here when it seems that Guri's own feelings are so fragile and delicate at the moment. She presses her lips tightly together, shoves aside her own complicated feelings on Romance, and instead asks as she thinks back on that moment they had together facing that other Guri in the cave: ]

Do you think you are.. unlikeable?

[A question that clearly catches her off guard.]

Well, as a person, no - I can see the evidence this is true, but…

And…I know I was built to be attractive in my galaxy, I have no idea about any other, truth be told. But that’s not…truly liking someone, is it?

[She shakes her head.]

In the long run? I do not think anyone would want a mechanical being, no. Not beyond novelty, certainly.

There are so many different beings out there though that aren't human. [ And not just robots like Guri. ] Even just on this train. There are aliens, other species entirely, other.. er, mechnical beings, as you say.

[ Not to mention that Alice is practically used to being surrounded by non-human beings. It's what happens when you escape to your fantasy land more often than you actually live in the real world. ]

And plenty of them seem to have found someone to care for them in such a way. I don't think you should be so pessimistic about your chances, if you wish to have something like that yourself at some point.

[She nodded.]

Of course I do. I want to explore all those things. Romance, love, passion - but it's hard to shake the old world. And it's harder still to know what divides interest and care from attraction.

[She was quiet for a long moment.]

I was used, before, to present affection to...further my master's plans. Or to keep him company, when he was bored. Much of it is in the memories I deleted, filled with details people could use to great harm, but...enough remains.

I've never gotten to choose. And...I would like to. But it's always hard to see the dawn from the deep valley.

[ Alice is quiet in the face of that knowledge. Because she's stunned by it, yes - but there's a more powerful undercurrent to it. One that makes her hands that are lying on top of the table slowly form into fists as she can feel the familiar anger boil in her stomach. ]

I'm going to murder him.

[ Not.. that he isn't already most likely gone, considering what Guri told him before, but does that matter when the sentiment is there all the same?

Because there's way too many of these people out there, who'd exploit others in such a way. And it hurts even more to know that it happened to yet another person who's important to her. ]

I will absolutely kill him in every single world out there in which he exists.

[The gesture is of incredible meaning, regardless. She reaches out a hand, giving Alice's a squeeze, eyes warm, and thankful.]

[It's a moment that encompasses...a lot. Acknowledgement as a person, as someone cared for - and coming from a universe that treats beings like her, at best, as chattel or closer to family pets as a rule...]

It would be a race, but...thank you. So much.

[ There's plenty of things she could say here. That they can just murder him multiple times, it's fine.

But rather than focusing on how much he deserves that, she'd rather focus on how much Guri doesn't deserve what happened to her. No wonder the other seems so uncertain about these things. Alice allows her hand to be taken without any resistance whatsoever, and she stares at the other. ]

You're free here, Guri. Please.. always remember that, at least.

[she closes her eyes, nodding.]

Here, I am, and I know others will keep it so, even if I myself cannot. And that...means a lot.

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[Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

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CW: romanic and sexual compulsion.

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