voidtreckernet | [Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

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[Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

[She waves gently as the feed comes on. Behind her there is a large sheet, divided into three categories: 'Heard of', 'Not heard of', and 'Variance'.]

[Her name and Della's are written, in perfect letters, in the first column.]

So I was reading, earlier in the month and had a conversation with Della. Interestingly, despite our different universal backgrounds, we had both heard the trope 'The Butler Did It' - though the books on the train have, thus far, not revealed why this trope is a thing in either of our universes.

As a result, I am curious: in how many of your universes in this something known as well, and are there any variants? For those unaware, the trope refers to fictive mysteries, specifically, wherein the murder taking place in a manor house is presupposed to have been committed by the butler, or head servant.

[Because it wouldn't be Guri if she didn't break it down.]

Oh, and I am unsure what to vote for in terms of room. Perhaps something for the arts? Would that not benefit everyone most?

[Later, she adds a text updated:]

My official vote is for 'pool'.

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[ It's so obvious - once more - just how much effort Guri put into this. She almost looks like a warrior returning from battle, but rather than fighting monsters or enemies, she's been fighting baking powder and icing, if that apron is anything to go by.

But that's nothing Alice can comment on. Because she instead looks at the cupcakes, and while those also speak a lot about how hard Guri has worked, there's one other thing Alice can't help but notice.

That heart.

Why the heart.

Surely Guri can't understand its implications, being the way she is, so why is it there!!

That question makes Alice's brain shut down for a moment, only leaving enough brainpower to look up at the other and slowly answer: ] R-Right. I will wait for you to get back before starting.

[That first aspect had a lot to do with the bag of icing and her having no idea about how much force to exert, while at the same time having hands capable of crushing metal.]

[The first icing attempt had been more of an icing asteroid strike, really.]

[As for the rest, well, she has her reasoning - and it doesn't occur to her that it's necessary to explain it beforehand. She had interpreted it to mean affection and care, both of which she knew she felt towards Alice. Beyond that, there had been half a dozen cupcakes and only five letters. Which bothered her.]

[And an exclamation mark seemed foolish.]

[In any event, she came back sans apron and with two glasses of milk, placing one in front of Alice and sitting opposite her with a satisfied nod, icing in her hair and all.]

Here we are, then.

.. here we are indeed.

[ Smooth.

Subtle.

Alice sure feels like a pure master of conversation here, and not just an awkward teenager with a throat that suddenly feels way too tight. Come on, Alice. It's just a few cupcakes. That Guri made just for you. And one has a heart for god knows what reason. Get yourself together. ]

I, ah.. [ UGGGH. Why is it suddenly so hard to talk?! ] Shall we start eating them? It would be a waste to just leave the cupcakes alone now.

[She nodded eagerly, hands folded in her lap. Trying very hard to hide the worry that they might turn out not to be good. Luckily, she's good at a poker face. Though Alice does know her well, at this point.]

Mm-hmm, yes, that was the idea. I'm not sure what your maximum number of cupcakes is, but I encourage you to liberally eat them.

[And she starts to carefully unwrap one of her own, like she's carefully defusing an explosive.]

[ Alice is definitely grabbing the one with the heart on it first. Got to get rid of all the evidence, clearly.

Though she seems to be much less careful about unwrapping it and eating it than Guri is. Perhaps because she isn't worried at all about their taste, considering everything that the other has made so far has been good. She takes a bite out of the top, reducing the heart to some half-shape that doesn't really seem like anything, chewing the bite before swallowing it. ]

They taste good. [ Or at least, Alice thinks so. ] .. you did well.

Oh, good.

[She bites into hers, and out comes one of her flashes of idiosyncratic humor.]

I knew there would be no practical difference between sugar and salt.

[ Guri.

Guri.

Guess who stops eating and just stares at the other. ]

You really need to work on your humor.

[ SAYS THE PERSON WHO DOES DEADPAN HUMOR ALL THE TIME TOO. But, look, with her it's a style! That's clearly different! ]

[Aw, she'd thought that one was a decent one. She deflates a bit, blowing a strand of hair out of her face, which moves the glob of icing.]

Drat. I'd thought that one was a good one. Oh well, I still need to work on timing.

If you present that as a bit too much of a fact, you're just going to make people choke on their cupcakes. [ Unless that was the intended end result!

But Alice over here is assuming that it wasn't, and she finally continues eating again. ]

You need to adjust your tone a little when you say things like that.

[She nods.]

I'll get it one day. So far, only Della seems to find my humor funny, but she is very definitely an outlier.

[She eats her own, thoughtfully.]

I'm glad you find them adequate.

[ Alice leaves a small sound, like a huff. ]

Della is more than just an outlier. [ Please!! Alice doesn't think Della is a bad person per se, but by god, is that duck-woman ever pushy. Of course she'd find any kind of humor hilarious, if she thinks her own is funny too.

But it's not like Alice wants to badmouth Guri here. Nor her humor anymore than she already has, considering it's part of her. Instead she shakes her head, focusing on something more positive. ]

But the cupcakes are good. You did really well. [ ... ] Even if you got some in your hair.

[ Will Guri even be able to get that out by herself? ]

[She nods.]

Perhaps - still, any success is good, I suppose.

[But then, of course, she's reaching to the wrong side.]

Really? Where?

No, not there.

[ Alice is about to describe it using words, but then she realises that just means they could be here all day as Guri interprets what she's saying the wrong way..

So it's just easier to be direct about it, right? Alice moves to lean forward over the table, reaching out with her hand to brush the small part of icing out of Guri's hair. ]

.. there. It should be fine now. [ It's not like Alice is going to let anyone laugh at Guri for having something stuck in her hair, after all!! ]

[She smiles at that, sitting back.]

Thank you. I might not have noticed for hours. You know, I was quite indecisive on the colour and decorations, but I think I managed to figure it out.

I understand one is supposed to be more liberal with sprinkles, but I already had the icing, after all.

[ .. Should she ask?

Alice is entirely unsure whether that's a good idea or not, considering that heart, but she might as well, right? It's now or never. ]

So what exactly did your thought process behind the decorations end up being?

[She smiled, brightly, having rather hoped to be asked that.]

Oh, well, I began by reviewing what materials were on hand, which led me to conclude that it should be personal, you know? In the end I went with colors I...just thought you would like?

[She may even look a bit embarrassed by that, actually reddening a little] I'm still figuring all that out. But I wanted to make you smile.

After that I looked at what I had on-hand and thought...aha, her name will fit, and that was that, really. Or so I thought, because then I had one cupcake with nothing and that was actually somewhat annoying.

So I added the heart.

[The last said like that part was the most natural, non-problematic part of the entire operation.]

[ THAT'S THE EXACT PROBLEMATIC PART.

But okay, breathe, Alice. Don't start with the negative in front of someone who's doing this for the first time! Say something positive first. Don't you want Guri to feel glad over having made these? ]

The colours are nice. I.. did not quite realise you picked it with me in mind, but you did a good job. [ See, positivity. Encouragement. She can do it. ] I like how they look, and the name is a nice touch.

[ ... ]

It's just.. ah.. Perhaps.. the usage of symbols needs to have a teensy bit more thought put behind it. This is the sort of thing other people could easily.. misunderstand.

[Nor is she going to make it terribly easy, as she cocks her head.]

How so? I mean, other than the flagrant anatomical inaccuracies, but I think those are traditional.

[ Anatomical accuracy. Of course that's what Guri is most concerned with here. Alice is resisting the urge to rub her temples in an attempt to get rid of these awkward feelings when she has to discuss such things. ]

.. I assume no one has made you aware of the implications behind such a symbol, anatomy aside.

[She thought about it, for a moment, then frowned.]

...Have I caused offense? I didn't mean to, but...

No, no. [ She moves her hands up, waving them a little, as if to wave the idea straight out of Guri's head. That's the last thing she'd want the other to think here, no matter how awkward this whole thing is for her to explain.

Surely someone who's better with the whole romance thing ought to explain this to Guri. Not Alice. But alas, here she's the one present. ]

It's just that when you give something to someone with that sort of heart on it, the general implication is that you experience romantic feelings for them.

[ Look.

Don't ask her why. This is so far outside of Alice's field of expertise that it's not even funny. ]

Oh. Oh.

[She's not at all sure how to respond to that. A number of prompts and instincts collide, and it's rare, very rare, to see her at a complete loss for words.]

[Finally:]

Oh, I'm sorry - I thought the idea of it was expressing care and affection, symbolically, I didn't...I mean, I do care and I do feel considerable affection towards you, it's just...

[She clams up again for a long, awkward moment; reddening quite a bit more than before.]

I wasn't trying to...I mean, I'm a...

[She leaves the 'I'm a machine' unsaid, barreling on. Awkwardly. She stops, an exasperated look on her face. She finally brushes past the presumption that that fact alone would disqualify her in organic books.]

This is all very hard to express. I had no intentions other than saying I cared and you are Alice and thus special for reasons I cannot entirely put into words and I didn't mean to upset you and I can see how you would presume otherwise since you are aesthetically pleasing and wonderful company so this must happen a lot so that should have been an obvious connotation I would foresee and I should just...go, shouldn't I?

[You have flustered the murderbot. Achievement unlocked. She starts to stand, her mind very full with thoughts on the nature of feelings and how in the verse humans ever figure out where the borderland is between one kind and another.]

[ There's so much going on here. But before Alice allows herself to think too hard about certain things the other is saying here, she knows she first has to speak up - if not just because Guri looks like she's about to dash right out of the room and leave Alice here awkwardly alone with the cupcakes. ]

Guri. [ There's almost something pleading in her tone. ] Do sit down again.

[ Please. Come on. ]

I know you did not have specific intentions with it. [ Not of THAT sort, at least, although all the 'special' talk sure is.. something. Something to process at a moment that is not right this very instant. ] So please don't fuss so much. I merely said it because I didn't want you to repeat this in the future and have someone misunderstand your intentions.

[ Especially if it's a terrible lecherous man. Can't trust those men!! ]

[She very slowly sits back down, folding her hands nervously, and saying nothing. She nods, a bit, but for the moment that's all.]

[Ironically, she'd agree primarily with the last sentiment, albeit from possibly an entirely different direction.]

...

Come on, don't feel so bad about it.

[ Now you're just making her feel bad and awkward for pointing it out in the first place, Guri! Gah, maybe she should just have said nothing. But what if Guri would make cupcakes for someone else and they got the wrong idea? Then it'd be entirely on Alice for not warning her, and..

This is exactly why she hates being social. It's so complicated. Is there still time to jump off this train and become a cave hermit? ]

You just were not aware. Those sorts of things can happen.

[Video] Clearly the most important thing right now.

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CW: romanic and sexual compulsion.

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