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[sos_pilot]

[ The video is late at night - not too late to wake a bunch of people up, but it's definitely different than Della's usual videos where it's an earlier time. Not to mention she kinda... looks like hell. Bags under her eyes, all the usual signs of exhaustion - but it's more than that. She actually looks emotionally beat up. ]

... Hey, guys. I figured I owed a bunch of you an explanation about my behavior last mission. Look, I know a lot of the time I'm all "woo, adventure, let's beat up monsters, yeah!" everywhere we go, but last time I was more... out of control. Not listening to anyone, still trying to fight even when I was literally falling apart... and I am sorry. I shouldn't have to make you guys worry more than you already have to, especially in the middle of a dangerous fight.

... Here's the deal. All of you are amazing, you have to know that on some level. You've got super powers, you've got metal bodies, you've got magic, and even of those of you who are about to say "Oh, I'm just some ordinary human" - you're not. So many of you have amazing abilities with your weapons, brilliant minds that have led kingdoms and companies, you're all wonderful, and should be so proud of yourself. I'm proud of each and every single one of you.

... And all I can do is land a solid punch every now and then. Back home, I... I was on a team. My family. They all had their own special talents too, and when I finally came home, maybe some part of me wondered... if they really needed me after all, since they'd done so well without me for ten years. And now, here I am, and I can't even do the one thing I at least KNOW I'm good at, being a pilot. Here, I'm just... me.

[ She sighs, taking off her pilot's cap to run a hand through her hair. ]

Dang, I didn't mean to ramble. Just... I'm sorry. I'll try to make sure it won't happen again.

... 'Night, guys.

[ For anyone wanting to check in on her, she can be found in the lower-carriage of the library, wordlessly thumbing through her copy of the Junior Woodchuck Guide, though not really reading it. ]

Comments

[sos_pilot]

... Sure. I'm just chilling in the library.

[sos_pilot]

[ It gets a tired little smile out of her, but it's still appreciated all the same. Still... ]

... Let me just ask you this. The Turks - it's not like just anyone can sign up, right? Does it require training and all that?

[sos_pilot]

[Della felt she hasn't seen Inigo for a while, but doesn't blame him - he probably wanted to spend all his time with his mom. If her sons were here, she'd be stuck like them to glue too.

She feels the hand on her shoulder, and gives it an appreciative squeeze as she places the book aside. ]

Yeah, yeah... hearing it is one thing, though. Accepting it is a whole other ballgame.

[sos_pilot]

You're not wholly wrong, but you're not wholly right either.

[ It's a bigger emotional issue than sudden superpowers can solve. ]

->action

[blue_ice]

On my way.

[ And he arrives at the library, sitting beside her with a thoughtful expression. He's radiating warmth and concern. ]

Want to talk about what happened out there, or skip to the part where I try to pull you out of this?

[sos_pilot]

... We're all here for a reason. That's what I kept telling the newcomers here, to try and calm them down about this whole... situation.

But it's something I made up. Really, no one knows why we were chosen. We still don't have so many answers.

[sos_pilot]

At that point, that was probably the only way anyone could knock me out... And it was for the best. Having people constantly watching my back and not focusing on the fight would have made this much more dangerous for everyone. You did us all a solid, Tidus.

[ She looks down at her lap, disappointed at how much danger she put them in. ]

[sos_pilot]

Where to begin? She had a lifetime of messing-up, and then months on the train... She sighed, running a hand through her hair again.

"The short version is, I'm feeling a little useless in the long run."

[sos_pilot]

... Airplanes. That's my expertise. Spaceships... I've been in about them three times, and let's just say each one was connected to a Very Bad Thing.

[ It's not his fault, he doesn't know. But yeesh, everyone has either never heard of planes, or are just beyond them into spaceships. She's not sure how to feel about that. ]

[blitzcheer]

[ He watches her for a moment, but then comes over to join her, takig a seat next to her; whether on the floor, or on an actual chair. Saying, as he comes down- ]

Yeah, well - you're Mama D. You stopped me from doing something stupid once too. Remember?

[ A while back now, by the turnstile... ]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Well, I can't exactly do anything for the whole 'missing your family and your home role' thing, so I wasn't gonna try to fix that. I'm just saying, you could be a part of a team and have an important role. I don't actually have a good fist-fighter minion.

F-for purely selfish reasons on my end, of course, before anyone starts thinking I'm all soft--~

[helborn]

[He shifts over a little bit and gives her a tight hug, careful not to hurt her. He lets go and lets out a deep breath.]

... Listen. I can't say I know exactly how you feel - I've been able to see ghosts as long as I can remember - but I do know what it's like to feel helpless.

[Hm.]

... Name me three things you like about yourself.

[yondu]

Still somethin'. But uh... I promise I'm gettin' somewheres.

Point bein', sometimes I wonder if I should eventually invest in a flight simulator for the game room. Somethin' good an' closed in. [It wouldn't give any sort of feeling of take off, but seeing around him would count for something.] I don't know how much addin' stuff costs, but I got my uniform. That was the most important bit I wanted.

Maybe if I did somethin' like that, make that kinda investment, I could make a request that it had different control layouts, good for planes too. The point bein' there's a whole lotta people here that don't know how to fly nothin'. An' I figure, y'know... there's a bunch o' people who probably could stand to learn what they oughta do.

[light_of_willpower]

No we don't. But that doesn't mean it's untrue that we're all here. If nothing else, the reason we're all here is the train chose us. We don't know why, but it did all the same. I choose to believe that's because we'll each contribute our best to try and work together and help each other and the worlds we visit.

[Trunks let half a sheepish-smile come to his face.]

How that 'contribute our best' is defined and determined though? I'm still trying to figure that out in some cases. But even though we haven't been around each other much, I haven't had trouble figuring out or defining that you are doing your best, Della.

[Action]

[averyusefultray]

[LIke she can ignore something like that. For one thing, it's a situation she recognizes. And they had bonded. So she goes looking for Della.]

Hey.

video

[myblueskies]

Miss Della? [He's in his pyjamas, his hair mussed up. He had been half asleep and usually he wouldn't get up to respond to any videos in this time when he was definitely sleepy but many of the adults were still awake.

But miss Della sounds sad... Not like herself at all.]

You got a team here too and you are an important part of it! Even if you don't got magic or super strength!

[dreamtamer]

Yeah.... I don't think we'll do that again for a while.

[ Guilmon nods in agreement. ]

Yeah! We're really strong when we're Dukemon, but we're really tired now.

[flatteries]

But you're still contributing so much to the train. Can't you see that?

[ Maybe Inigo is being a little hypocritical here, considering he has exactly the same issue. But whereas he'll deny his own self worth forever to extreme lengths, he's not going to watch someone important to him doing the same without trying to intervene. ]

I mean, you made those badges for everyone, right? I'm sure you made people happy with those in a way no one else could have. You're here to keep morale high! That's a tough job, you know.

[sos_pilot]

[ Hearing Kitty's voice, she looks up, puts on a small smile, and puts aside her guidebook. ]

... I'm guessing you saw what I said.

[sos_pilot]

I mean... I said pretty much what I did out there. Doesn't get any simpler than that.

[ She puts the guidebook aside. ]

[sos_pilot]

[ Two chairs for two bros. ]

Yeah, but haven't you felt lately the scale's a little... uneven? How many times have you had to pull me out of the fire before I made things worse?

[blue_ice]

...all right. Got it.

[ He sighs and scoots a little closer. ]

Thought I'd remind you that you're part of a family here. When one stumbles, the others pick them up---and we can pitch in and cover for an absence for a while. We adapt, we step up.

But it's better with you here, Della. And I know I'm not the only one you've helped. Let us help you too.

[sos_pilot]

[ Now that gets an actual smile out of her, with a quiet chuckle as well. ]

Why, Zetta. Dare I accuse you of having a heart between the pages?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

You can look, there's not a damn thing there except more pages. What part of 'selfish' was I unclear about?!

...also, I could use a dedicated pilot, too. My starfighter didn't do so hot last battle.

[sos_pilot]

... Am I allowed to take my time on this homework, because in my current state of mind, the answers aren't gunna pop up right away.

[ But she can tell this is a flip-side of her previous badge behavior. ]